Why Do I Punish Myself With Food?
This sounds a little cray-cray doesn’t it? How does somebody punish themselves with food?
But this is exactly the question I have asked myself after I have eaten food that makes me feel sick, or I have overloaded on.
I am on this new journey to better health. I am tapping and am more mindful about what I should be eating. However, thoughts of unhealthy food will just pop into my head and I will tell myself, “You deserve to have a treat”, or “It’s only this one time”, or “Only I will know”.
The bigger question I am curious about is why do I do this? When I eat, and I know deep down I really don’t want to!
I feel like I am punishing myself.
Why would I sabotage myself? Especially when I have had a few good days of exercising and making healthy choices?
If you have been following my blog posts, you will know that I am writing these posts as I am on my journey to becoming free from the bondage of connect food to pleasure or punishment.
Can you relate to the feeling?
We eat because we are:
- Celebrating anything of any magnitude
- Disgusted with ourselves and want to feel better
- Feeling sorry for ourselves
- Missing something or someone
- Mourning and feel we deserve food
- Messed up and feel we deserve more food
- We are bored and it fills the time
- I exercised hard today I can absorb it
There are so many more reasons! There could be a reason for any feeling, occasion, or situation!
Here is a printable that can help to sort out what our triggers are and what we can substitute so we can eliminate punishing ourselves with food.
The bottom line is after I make the choice and I eat, and I don’t eat to fuel myself, I feel like I have punished myself.
I have punished myself because:
- I ate one too many
- I feel like I did it in secret
- I would embarrassed if anyone knew
- I must be stupid because I know that I’m not eating healthy
- And on and on
Not only does the food punish me, but I give myself a good scolding after. Who would put up with that?
I need to remind myself it took me a while to get this point, and look deep down for the reason I got to this point.
There is so much more than, eat good, exercise, and you are on your way to being a in perfect shape!
If it were that easy . . . . wouldn’t everyone achieve optimal health? Would we need all these diet programs?
No, our minds are the biggest challenge of it all. OF. IT. ALL.
It’s time for me to recognize in advance when I start to get that feeling that I want to go eat something that won’t serve me well.
I am going to create a tapping sequence that I will use when I get those feelings of justifying the garbage thoughts of “Certainly there is a reason I should go eat this“.
- Do you have your rating?
- Get a picture in your mind of the struggle you have with wanting to eat for happy reasons and sad reasons, not because you need fuel. You are disgusted with disappointed with yourself.
- Keep that picture in your mind as you begin, and notice as you go through the sequence where your mind takes you.
- The set-up statement only needs to be said at the beginning of sequence. It doesn’t need to be repeated before each round.
- This sequence is based on weight loss issues, but you can insert any issues you may have.
- You can change the wording if it doesn’t make sense to you.
Here is the link to refresh you on all the tapping points and the basics.
TAPPING ON “WHY DO I PUNISH MYSELF WITH FOOD”
Karate Chop: (Set-up Statement)
- Even though I lose self-control and eat whether I want to or not, I will accept myself anyways.
- Even though I feel I punish myself with food, I love and accept who I am.
- Even though I sabotage my progress by eating junk, I will try to love and accept myself anyways.
Top of Head:
I am so disgusted with myself that I can’t tell myself “no”
I can’t believe how I choose to eat badly instead of taking care of myself and make a good choice
Side of Eye:
Why do I feel I need to punish myself with food
I will eat then feel horrible right after
It makes me feel like a failure
Like I want to keep myself at this weight
Like I want to keep myself from being healthy and feeling good
Why do I treat myself so badly
Top of Head:
I carry around all my bad choices in pounds
I feel like I have punished myself by gaining this weight
Side of Eye:
I am punishing myself by continuing to eat bad food
I want to disconnect food from relationships and feelings.
Food is just for fuel and to function
Quality food can be good and yummy
Healthy food can be good and yummy
I am shifting my thoughts from I don’t deserve to feel healthy and good to I deserve to feel healthy and good
Top of Head:
I can find alternatives to eating to help me through my emotions
I want to give myself grace
Side of Eye:
I give everyone else grace for what they go through
Why can’t I do it for myself?
I can tap, pray and go to God for comfort and help when I am feeling weak
I don’t need to punish myself
God has already paid the price, he loves me no matter what
I am ready to forgive myself, and reward myself with healthy food for fuel!
I have tapped on this issue and will do more. As long as I consciously and subconsciously punish myself with food and sabotage my progress, I will never get to my goal of living healthier.
Figuring out the connections between the moments that I want to go eat, and the thoughts I have at that moment is when the changes will be made. As I tap, I get pictures in my head of memories that tell me what the connections are.
In the end, I want to give myself the grace I need and that God has already gifted.